Journal

The Other B Word

24.

I wanted this entry to be about being 25, but alas I am a three day old 25 year old and know nothing about this ~spooky~ age I am facing. So I'll talk about what I do know, being an ex 24 year old. If I had to sum up 24 in three words it would be; enlightenment, chaos, power. All active ingredients currently still in my cauldron and will probably be there for a while.

When I turned 24, it was a complete delight to me because 23 was a fucking disaster. I had no actual agenda on what I'll do at 24 nor did I care to have one because of my disorganization 'skills' I possess. The new year hit, and so did an insane series of things that I could not fathom emotionally. It was a lonely time in my life in which I took as a gift. Being alone is one of my favorite things, not to sound like an internet sad girl, but it grounds me in a way where I grow substantially for myself, by myself, and nobody else. I picked myself up and went back to the roots of my happiness where I reconnected with lost humans and ideas which included the Bettys.

I decided (got the balls) to do the Bettys one night after my good old friend took me dancing in some weird loft in Harlem in March. It was probably the first time in months I had been myself or felt like myself, at least. After that, life just changed. There was nothing that could stop me or hurt me. Everything that did, a day, a week, etc before that dance party, seemed so minuscule. The people that were involved looked like ants now to the point where I felt embarrassed that such abusive fuck boys even had the chance to go that far with my well being.

The rest of the year was this whirlwind of self discovery and productivity. Which was relatively easy for me with my great friends in the middle. 24 to me was a punk song, it was loud, fast, very bold and fun. This is probably why I'm taking in 25 like taking in a kitty you found under a car in the middle of winter. I'm watching my peers and friends completely flip about becoming 25 because they have yet to achieve what the 'social norms' are of becoming 25 and it's fucking insane. Do you remember the scene's in Beetlejuice where Barbara and Adam Maitland are in the after life offices and there's different rooms that lead to different absurd shit? Well I felt like I walked into the 'age 25' door of life and saw a bunch of people running around without heads and a few crying in corners because they're not married or are house owners or have reached a 1,000 followers on Instagram yet. I feel naïve because I felt so baffled but I also realized a long time ago that every single person on this planet has a completely different path they have to walk on so the concept of social norms is a pile of shit. I don't plan on wasting 25 on molding myself as normal, because I was told on the 3rd day of kindergarten that I was a weirdo and I liked it. I do plan on changing a few things about myself this year, I want to snort less when I laugh. I also want to stop my baby curls from frizzing up which seems like minimal task but not when you are owner of a mini jungle on top of your head. And of course betty, I mean I can't even think about the Bettys without starting to shake from anticipation.

 

So long baby boo 24, ill miss you. mbxo